Wacky Wednesdays with Jenbiff

How to fight...together

I have been saying for a while now that I am going to write about my two cents on relationships, but have had a hard time finding a starting point. So after a lot of thinking and a recent discussion with a friend I found my starting point. But let me take a step back and start by saying that I find it very interesting that the one thing people want the most is to find love, but it also turns out to be the hardest thing that anyone will ever try to do. Some people rush in, some people are too protective of their hearts, and others don't seem to know what the hell they're doing. Trust me, I have something to say about all of the above, but for now I want to start with something for those of you who are in a relationship already. 

Ben and I. This is my favorite picture of us

One big thing that Ben and I have learned through the years together is how to have productive conflict. If you are going to get into an argument; and no matter who you are, you will; you are probably going to want whatever issue at hand resolved...and fast. Cuz who likes fighting?  I talked a little with Ben about what he thought would be important in an argument and he said making sure what you are saying is really how you feel. Just because you're mad does not give you or your partner the right to scream: 'I hate you', 'Go to hell', 'Fuck you', or any other colorful phrases you can come up with. If you don't think these things when everything is sunshine and skittles, why should it be ok to say these things when your mad? Eventually you might even start believing it!

Clearly they're not getting through to each other. (Photo Credit: Google Images)

Another thing we've picked up is that listening is key (obviously). This may be a walk in the park when you're happy with your partner, but when you are just red in the face, steam coming out of the ears mad...the last thing you want to do is listen. Now, I know that I do end up feeling better after screaming at Ben, but then I quickly realize that whatever issue we're fighting over isn't solved because I wasn't listening and on top of it, he's now even more mad at me for being a bitch. Fail.

Fight nice so you can kiss and make up faster! (Photo Credit: Google Images)

Of course there are many other things that couple can do, but these are our tips for now on how to make the inevitable relationship fights end in hugs and love instead of a break up and hatred.

Stay tuned for more love advice and tips!

Quote of the Week: "Nobody's talking, cause' talking just turns into screaming
And now as I'm yelling over her, she yelling over me,
all that that means is neither of us are listening"
Last Weeks Answer: Audrey Hepburn as "Gabrielle" in Paris When It Sizzles